Secret Sins – Part 2

Sandy’s heart was pounding out of her chest as she entered the sunroom where the adults had congregated. DW smiled at her and immediately came over and took her hand.  The two of them sat down on the nearby loveseat.  Lucinda was bringing out a pitcher of iced tea and passing glasses all around. Leon and Jack were discussing the latest news around town, while Geraldine was telling Lucinda what a lovely sunroom she had.  From all appearances, it would seem to be old friends gathering to catch up.  The reality was far from the truth.  Jack and Geraldine had never visited before, and Sandy could tell that DW was just as nervous because he kept running his free sweaty hand across his blue jeans.

After all the initial pleasantries were over, Jack Shepard scooted to the edge of the sofa and cleared his throat, “Um, Lean, Ms. Lucinda, we appreciate your gracious welcome, and we thank you for taking time out of your Saturday to talk with me and Geraldine and the kids.  We, uh, well, we have a serious matter that the six of us need to discuss.  Jack glanced over at Geraldine, and she nodded her head in encouragement.  Turning to his right, he decided to address Leon Woods man-to-man.  “Leon, our kids here are in love.  I think you know that.  They are young, and well, sometimes our youth fools us into thinking we know the right decision to make.”

Lucinda, not understanding what any of this was about jumped in before he could continue, looking over at Sandy.  “Sandra?  What exactly is this all about?”

“Well, Mom……..” Leon cut Sandy off, “Lucinda dear, I think we need to let Jack continue, alright?” He gave her that calm smile that always seem to work magic.  Reluctantly, she nodded at Jack Shepard to continue.

“Thank you, Leon, well here’s the situation.  I do not know any other way to do this but to just come out with it.  Danny Wayne and Sandy are expecting.”  You could see a bit of relief cross his face.  He had said the unspoken aloud.

Lucinda immediately jumped up from her chair. “Expecting, what?” She looked from Sandy to Danny Wayne waiting for one of them to speak.

Sandy stood and walked over to where her mother was standing. In fact, everyone was now standing.  Sandy gently took her mom’s hands. “Mother, I am so very sorry, but I am pregnant with Danny Wayne’s baby, and we want to get married.”  Sandy’s brown eyes pleaded with her mother to understand from the center of her heart how she was feeling – scared, alone, but certain of her love for Danny Wayne and this unborn child.  Everyone held their breath.

The slap across Sandy’s face was heard in the living room where Laney and Jeannie were eavesdropping.  “Why you little, SLUT!” yelled Lucinda.  “After all we’ve done for you, and now you are going to ruin my reputation in this town because you couldn’t keep your legs closed?!” Shock and horror were evident on Sandy’s face.  Danny Wayne immediately grabbed Sandy and pulled her back over to the loveseat.  Leon Woods took a step forward with a look of amazement on his face.  He had never seen his wife talk or behave in such a manner before.  Sandy was sobbing into Danny Wayne’s shoulder; Lucinda advanced towards Danny Wayne pointing her finger in his face. “And you, you lowdown scoundrel, this is all your fault!  You tricked my daughter into having sex, and what does it matter to you?  You’re not the one everyone will talk about.  It’s me they’ll snicker and gossip about behind my back.  Those biddies in town have just been waiting to find a reason to gossip about me! Some no count FARM boy is going to be the cause of ruining our family name, do you hear me?!” Lucinda was shouting into Danny Wayne’s face when all of a sudden Geraldine Shepard grabbed her from behind and spun her around. “Just you wait a second, you high and mighty witch, you will not speak to my son that way. Last time I checked, it takes two to make a baby, so I’d say both played an equal part in this mess. YOU of all people should know all about that!” Geraldine stood back and folded her arms in satisfaction.

Lucinda Woods gasped and clutched at her heart looking at Geraldine like she was something smelly the dog found. Quickly regaining her composure, she drew herself up straight and answered, “Well, we all know that you were pregnant with Danny Wayne when you and Jack married, so stands to reason you’d be all for this little crazy scheme!” Geraldine started to rush at Lucinda with her fist drawn. Before things could escalate further, Leon Woods stepped between the two women and took Lucinda’s arm.

Danny Wayne, who had been calming Sandy stood up facing his parents. “Mom? Dad? Is that true?  Were you pregnant with me before you married? He searched both their eyes waiting for an answer.  Jack having led Geraldine back to the couch to calm her down, spoke first, “Son, we’ll talk more about that later, right now we need to calm down and focus on the situation at hand.” DW took his place by Sandy once again. Leon was still standing with Lucinda holding her arm. “Sweetheart, I think Jack is right, everyone needs to calm down, but first you really need to apologize to the Shepards’ and Sandy.” She started to cut him off, “but Le….” “LU, take a seat, please.” Her husband only called her Lu when he was upset.  Begrudgingly, she sat back down but refused to look at either the Shepards’ or the kids. Instead of apologizing, all she would say was, “I just cannot believe this is happening to me.”

Sandy, finally able to speak through her tears spoke up, “Happening to YOU, Mother? I’M the one who is pregnant.  You’ve been yelling about how people will talk badly of you, but it’s ME that people will hold responsible, NOT you.  Frankly, people can think whatever they want. I love Danny and this baby, and I do not care who knows!” Sandy began sobbing again.

Once again, Leon spoke up.  “I think we all need to take a little time to cool off.  Obviously, as Jack said earlier, there are some decisions to be made, however I do not think now is the time.  Jack, if you and Geraldine will take Danny Wayne, I think Lucinda and I need some time with Sandy.  We will be in touch so we can all get together again.  Does that sound fair to you?” he smiled gently at both. 

Jack and Geraldine stood up. Jack stuck his hand out to Leon and the two men shook. “Leon, thank you again for your hospitality, and for your calmness.  I can assure you that we are just as upset as you and Ms. Lucinda. I appreciate how you handled things.” Leon put his cap back on and without a glance in Lucinda’s direction, he walked out the door. Geraldine slipped her handbag on her shoulder and shook hands with Leon.  “Son, I think we should honor Mr. Leon’s request. Tell Sandy goodbye.  I’ll meet you at the truck.” With one more glance at Leon Woods, she quietly exited the sunroom. 

Sandy was still crying, but as Danny Wayne hugged her, he said, “Hey, look at me….” Sandy looked into the blue eyes she loved so dearly. “It’s all going to be okay, get some rest and I’ll call you later tonight, okay?” She merely nodded and he kissed her on the cheek before he looked over at Leon and nodded his head. Lucinda was still sitting down and would not look at him.

After they had left, Leon approached Sandy. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I wish you had felt you could come and talk to us, but I understand.  It’s a hard thing to tell your parents.  Just know that we love you, and will figure our way out of this, okay?” All Sandy could do was hug her dad. “Why don’t you go lie down and let me talk to your mother, okay?”

Once Sandy had left the room, Leon went over to where his wife was still sitting,  and knelt beside her chair.  “Hey, talk to me?” Lucinda finally made eye contact.  She was half expecting Leon to be angry with her for her outburst, but instead she only saw love.  “How will I ever show my face in Mason again? Tell me?” Lucinda was not one to shed tears, but big fat ones were now running down her face. “Lu, it’s not you that’s pregnant.  Do you think Sandy is the first unmarried teenager to get pregnant? It has been happening for decades. People will talk at first, but then something else will grab their attention that seems far worse.  So what? What matters is our daughter and our grandchild.  A grandchild, Lu.  We can handle this, can’t we?” Leon sat back on his heels and gave her a little space.

Lucinda was reminded of all the reasons she desperately wanted to be his wife. A woman felt safe with a man like Leon.  She had never felt safe until the day they met.  He always seemed to have an answer for every problem, and nothing was ever too bad that could not be fixed. She really wished she could believe him about this situation.  She knew that no one would ever forget and forever stamp Sandy as ‘damaged goods’. She didn’t care how much they smiled and acted like everything was okay.  She knew that behind closed doors, tongues would always wag when Sandy Woods’ name was mentioned.  And that boy! All those Shepards’ never amounted to much.  Always going on about “working the land” and all their homespun humor.  She hated it!  She didn’t care what Leon thought; she absolutely could not let this happen to one of her daughters. Sandy was going to finish school, meet a nice boy from a good family with some ambition and live a far different life than the one Danny Wayne Shepard was proposing. Sandy thinks she is in love, but once the bloom wears off and reality sets in, things would be horrible.  NO!  Looking Leon straight in the eye, “Leon, I’m sorry.  I just don’t believe it will be okay.  You have got to help me talk Sandy into the only answer best for her future.  She needs to terminate this pregnancy and end this ridiculous relationship with that boy.  She almost spit when she said, ‘that boy.’  Leon sighed and rose from where he had been kneeling. It was obvious that Lucinda needed some time to calm down.  Maybe they could all sleep on it and talk more about it in the morning.

Sandy was lying across her bed when Laney and Jeannie came into her room.  Both looking at one another they approached her bed and sank down on either side of her.  She sat up, drying her eyes. “So, you two hear all that?” she asked. Laney was the first to speak, naturally.  “Yes, we did.  How could you not tell us that you are pregnant?” Jeannie just grabbed Sandy’s hand.

“Why do you think, I didn’t? You’d have run to mother, and I wanted to tell her my way.  As it turns out, it really didn’t matter who told her, it would be the same reaction – I’m a slut and Danny Wayne is a sex-crazed maniac.” Sandy scooted off the bed and went to stand by the window.

“Actually, I believe the word she used was lowdown scoundrel.” Piped up Jeannie.  Laney shot her an incredulous side glance. All was quiet and then all three girls burst out laughing. Both sisters joined Sandy and put their arms around her. Squeezing as tight as they could, Laney said, “We are here for you.  We love you, Idgit!” This just started Sandy crying all over again, but for the first time all day, she was smiling.

                                                                  ************************************************

The next morning Sandy slipped on her welly’s and eased into her hoodie before heading out into the woods. Everyone was still sleeping, and the sun was not even up yet. There was a chill in the air, and she pulled her fleece jacket tighter around her. The path that led into the woods had been there for years. It was worn down and was easily visible as you entered the forest. The tall pines rustled gently in the soft morning breeze. It was like they whispered a secret message from the forest fairies. She stopped and closed her eyes and breathed in the misty morning air.  She really needed clear thoughts. Yesterday had been the worst day of her life thus far.  She could still remember the look of rage on her beautiful mother’s face as she screamed at Danny Wayne.  And the slap across her face; her mother had never lifted a hand to any of them. Tears begin to form, yet again, but she swallowed them back down. She really needed to clear her mind and allow the Universe or God to speak to her.  What should she do? Insist on marrying and having this baby? She really did love DW, but were they ready to be parents, and all the responsibility that went along with that? Should they agree to give their baby up for adoption? She could not even bear to think of ending the pregnancy as her mother suggested.  The thought almost made her ill.

She had walked about half a mile when she made it to the fork where a large rock sat. She sank down on the rock and drew her legs up to her. Funny to think that in a very short time, she would not be able to do that for a while.  She bowed her head and prayed. She sat that way for a long time and lifted her head long after the sun had risen.  Wiping her tears, she stood up, brushed herself off and headed back. For the first time in weeks, she felt a peaceful feeling in her heart. This was going to be the hardest decision of her life, but she knew what she needed to do. As she walked home, she rubbed her belly, praying DW would agree, but first she must deal with her parents.

Leon and Lucinda were sitting in the breakfast nook with their coffee when Sandy entered the backdoor.  Their family dog, Lady, let them know someone was entering.  Seeing it was Sandy, Leon rose and greeted his daughter with a hug.  Lucinda continued sitting at the table, sipping her coffee.

“Hon, can I get you a coffee, or maybe a nice juice?” Leon spoke as Sandy shrugged off her jacket.  “A coffee would be nice, thanks dad.” Sandy approached the table and sat in between both of her parents. Just as Leon sat a cup of coffee in front of her, Lucinda finally spoke.

“Sandra, I have lain awake all night and here is what we are going to do.” Sandy placed her hand on her mother’s arm before she could continue. “No, mom, this is MINE and DW’s decision and I have been thinking and praying about this for a while now. I actually want to talk to you both about what I’d like to do.” Sandy stopped talking and looked from one parent to the other.

“Sandra, you gave away the right of having a say in this mess the minute you crossed the line and had sex with that, that, boy! You are now going to do things MY way, understood?” Lucinda grasp Sandy’s arm as she spoke. Sandy yanked her arm away and stood up.

“That’s so like you, mother.  It’s always about you, isn’t it? How will people think of YOU, how will you show your face in Mason, what WE are going to do, on and on! Do you ever stop and listen to yourself, mother? Do you?  This is NOT your decision. This is mine and Danny Wayne’s child and we will make the decision, got it???” Sandy yelled. She turned and ran to her room and slammed the door.

Throwing her hands up and leaning back, “Leon, she won’t listen to me, you have got to convince her to end this madness! Betty Tate knows someone in New Orleans that could find a doctor that deals in these types of issues….I was planning on giving her a call today so I could make plans for acquiring an appoint…..” she suddenly stopped speaking when Leon stood and loudly shoved his chair under the table. “LU, did you hear what our child said to you at all?  This is HER decision to make, not yours.  I really do not understand what has happened to you. I’ve never seen you so hateful and unreasonable.” The cups clanked in the sink as he dumped their coffee things.

“Well maybe you haven’t been paying attention either, Leon. I’m the same Lucinda Dale you married almost 26 years ago.” Lucinda sat her cup down a little too loudly.

“The Lucinda Dale I married was kind and compassionate, and you……” he trailed off.

“I’m what?  Just say whatever it is you want to say, Leon Woods.”

He just looked at her with sadness and quietly walked out of the kitchen.

Knocking on Sandy’s door, he opened it a crack when he heard her say, “come in.” She was sitting at her desk just staring out the window. His heart absolutely broke for her. He could not understand what was happening with his wife, but one thing he knew was that their daughter needed their love and support, not judgment.

“Care if I join you?” he asked as he pulled up a stool sitting next to the desk. 

“Sure, Daddy.” She was so much like him.  Peaceful, loving, wanting everyone to get along.

“You have not called me daddy since you were a very little girl.”

“I guess I’m not feeling very grown up today.” She reached for his hand and the tears came.  He just held her and let her cry it all out.  Seems they stayed that way for a long time before she finally got quiet. He handed her a tissue from the box on her desk and as she dried her eyes, he asked, “So, tell me what you want to do, whatever it is, that’s what we will do.”

“But what about Mom? She wants me to….to….end my pregnancy.” He could see how difficult the thought of an abortion was for her. “Daddy, I just cannot do that…..I won’t do that! It’s wrong!”

“No one is going to make you do anything you do not want. You let me handle your mother; talk to me, tell me what you’ve decided.” While still holding her hand, she told him everything.