Another Tall Tale from The Eustace Howard Family
The following week, revival time arrived at Shaky Cane Baptist Church. A visiting pastor from Odom County was leading the services every night during the week. A huge kickoff this the Sunday culminated with a church-wide dinner on the grounds. This always marked the end of summer for the kids, and a time for deep reflection and hopeful salvation for the adults.
Geneva had been cooking all the week preparing for the lunch after morning services. Jasmina and Joy Lovey had helped and were excited to taste all the goodies that would be shared.
Parishioners, young and old, were fidgety from smelling all the wonderful aromas of homecooked food wafting inside from outdoors. Many of the ladies skipped service to make sure everything was ready for plates to be filled.
At last, Brother Jones said the last amen and everyone rushed to the back of the church where long cement tables stood under a bank of trees. The area was shaded, for the most part, which was helpful during the summer heat. Families had brought lawn chairs and card tables to gather around.
Once one of the deacons had blessed the food, everyone got in line and visited each table choosing their favorites. The ladies like to put their names next to their dishes but had stopped doing that when it became obvious that the undesirables were left untouched. In true Christian spirit, you took your chances, but at least no one had their feelings hurt if no one ate any of their squash casserole. However, this did not deter people sidling up next to a lady and whispering, “Which one is your potato salad?”
On this particular Sunday, the humidity was high and even the breeze through the large trees overhead did little to keep anyone cool.
Jasmina was sitting at a table made from an old crate that her daddy erected for all the children. Her cousin Milton was sitting next to her, while Joy Lovey, Gordon and John Russell were at the other end. Milton leaned over and whispered, “I know what you and Momma did.” He took a bit of chocolate pie and grinned large.
Her heart began racing. “Wha, what do you mean?” she asked.
“I saw Momma mixing itching powder in with the stinky powder she is always going on about.” He boasted. “I also overheard her crying to Granny McBook that she thinks Daddy has been visiting the Starlight Motel.” Milton sat back as he finished his second piece of pie. He had the grin of a cheshire cat.
Jasmina wasn’t sure what to say. He was down at the creek swimming with the boys the day her and Aunt Addie made their trip into town. Milton always liked to think he knew everything, and she quickly decided he was trying to get her hung up and confused. Lifting her head and sitting up straight has Geneva had taught her to do, she replied, “I have no idea what you are talking about Milton Thorton. You should be ashamed of yourself talking about your Momma and Daddy like that behind their backs.”
With this she swung around and walked off, leaving him looking at her with his mouth wide open. This did concern her though. What if anyone found out what they had done? Well, more what Aunt Addie had done, but she was a witness to the crime, wasn’t she? Suddenly, she was glad that there would be church every night this week. Obviously, she needed to make an altar call and ask for forgiveness for getting herself into a potential mess.
To calm her nerves, she decided to find Granny McBook’s Italian Cream Cake. She was just about to take her first bite when she noticed a couple of men nearby beginning to scratch.
Uh oh! Could that even be possible? No, she quickly shook her head. From what little knowledge she had about strumpets or scoundrels, they were folks who did not attend church and liked to drink hard liquor and smoke cigarettes with people they were not married to. She decided that she was panicking for nothing.
Enjoying her cake, she began to look about. It was nice to see that they had an extra-large crowd this year, but…. oh no! One by one, men throughout the large crowd was scratching fiercely. The more they scratched the more they itched. It couldn’t be, she thought! Could there be scoundrels in attendance at Shaky Cane Baptist after all? How else can you explain the itching?
Then, shock of all shocks, she noticed a couple of ladies scratching! Then a few more! Strumpets?? She had to find Aunt Addie and scoured the crowd. She finally saw her sitting off under a tree in her lawn chair with a cup of iced tea grinning from ear-to-ear. One of the men itching was Uncle Red Thorton!
Jasmina quickly ran toward her aunt. Addie immediately grabbed her hand and pulled her down beside her. Leaning over she whispered, “Looks like the Lord has visited Deuteronomy 28:27 on some folks this morning, with the help of Addie Thornton! A great start to a week of revival. I bet the altar is full every night!”
“What does Deuteronomy 28:27 say, Aunt Addie?” Jasmina replied.
“Let’s just say life can be sweet like Cashmere Bouquet, but sometimes things can get a little itchy! Jasmina honey, run get me a piece of your momma’s coconut cake. I suddenly feel like celebrating!”
She did as she was asked, but did not get a chance to process the scene she witnessed until after arriving home. All those people itching had been at the Starlight Motel and they were not traveling through town.
The saddest part was that her Uncle Red was one of the men itching. Poor Aunt Addie! Her suspicions had been correct after all! Wait! So had Mr. Johnson the High School Principal, as well as Maybelle Thompson the school secretary!
However, the biggest shock of all was that Pastor Jones AND his wife had been dancing around with the itch! Shaky Cane Baptist Church was full of strumpets and scoundrels!
Apparently, Aunt Addie confessed to her sister what she had done. Thankfully, she had not implicated Jasmina, but Geneva was smart enough to know that the two had made that sudden trip into town together a week ago.
Jasmina was stretched out on her bed resting from the excitement of the morning when her Momma came in and sat on the edge of her bed. She scooted up to give her more room.
“Jasmina, I want you to tell me the truth. Did you help your Aunt Addie put that itch powder at the Starlight Motel?” She had never lied to her mother in her life. She decided she might as well continue the practice.
Hanging her head, “Yes, Ma’am. Well, actually I just went along for the ride. I knew nothing about the itchy powder until after we left the motel. I’m sorry, Momma. Aunt Addie has been so upset, and well, I guess I thought I could help.”
Geneva reached over and lifted her chin, so they were looking at one another. “Honey, I am not angry with you. You are a good, kind girl and you love your Aunt Addie. I know you were oblivious to her foolishness. Thank the good Lord, no one understood why the itches ramped up in the church yard. Well, only the guilty and the Lord, that is!”
“Momma, Paster Jones and his wife!” Jasmina began, but Geneva held her hand up.
“We will not discuss this further. The Lord will deal with everyone guilty of this sinfulness. Trust me. It’s about time to revisit Pastor Jones’ contract with the church. He may be surprised that it is time for him to move on. In the meantime, you need to promise me that you will not tell another soul about this mess, promise me, Jasmina!”
“Yes, Ma’am. I just want to forget it ever happened. Poor Aunt Addie! At least Daddy wasn’t itching. He’d never do something like that, would he Momma?” she asked.
Geneva stood up and looked around. “You know, you are right! Your Daddy is a good, loving man. I need to be sure to thank him for his faithfulness. Your father was mighty upset about this, and here it is revival week.”
She quietly left Jasmina to herself. Her Daddy really was upset because Melvin and Geneva both took to the bed for the rest of the afternoon. After a while she could hear the two of them giggling. She figured Momma had thanked him for not being a scoundrel.
LOL!! Love!
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