Sour and Loaded

As all families experience, death visited the Eustace family in the summer of 1953. Geneva McBook Eustace was the backbone of her family. Jasmina, the oldest child, took pride in emulating her mother in all things. 

Jasmina was already married to Putt Howard with two toddlers at the time of her mother’s passing.  Joy Lovey had married Jock Thibodeaux and had two toddlers back-to-back to catch up with her sister.  They had moved back to Colony from Louisiana where Jock’s family ran two mercantile stores. Jock had purchased a building right next door to a small house on the highway with the intention of setting up shop. Gordon James was still single but in college and lived in the dorms. This only left the youngest, twelve-year-old Lucy Jay living at home when Geneva died.

As one would expect, a young girl losing her mother at such an early age was difficult. Thankfully, Jasmina and Joy Lovey were there to help. Melvin Eustace seemed completely lost without Geneva. Much to the shock and horror of his children and the community, he remarried within six months of Geneva’s death. The new bride had never married and was well over the years of childbearing age. Wedgie Briley was a very stern, sour looking woman. No one was more shocked to suddenly have a new ‘mother’ than Lucy Jay. And Wedgie Briley to boot!

Wedgie let it be known immediately upon moving in that she was not going to do all the cooking and cleaning by herself. What she really meant was that she wasn’t going to be doing ANY of the cooking and cleaning. Lucy Jay was forced into the role and was not permitted to spend any time with her best friend, Annabelle Bullock, until everything on Wedgie’s daily list was complete. Melvin, who seemed a bit shocked that the sugary woman he had briefly courted was suddenly everything but sugar, went along with whatever the new Mrs. Eustace said. 

It wasn’t long before Lucy Jay realized she hated Wedgie, and from all appearances, the feeling seemed to be mutual. Lucy Jay frequently begged Jasmina and Joy Lovey to allow her to move in with one of them. Being the peacemaker, Jasmina tried on more than one occasion to speak with Ms. Wedgie. She thought that the woman may not realize how traumatic it had been for Lucy Jay losing her mother and her father remarrying so quickly. 

After one such attempt to talk with Ms. Wedgie, Jasmina stopped at Joy Lovey’s house in the foulest mood. Joy Lovey was not used to seeing her sister so worked up.

“The nerve of that woman! What in the world was daddy thinking marrying that shrew of a woman? I mean, I get that men cannot be without a woman to take care of things, but surely there were better candidates to choose from?” Jasmina fumed.  

“Do you reckon they…you know…” Joy Lovey’s voice trailed off.

“Do what?” Jasmina snapped. Joy Lovey rolled her eyes and gave a crude sign.

Seeing the look on Jasmina’s face she immediately knew to drop the subject. 

“Honestly, Joy Lovey! We have bigger things to worry about than our daddy’s…uh hem…personal life. Besides, would you want to…??? with Wedgie?” This remark from Jasmina of all people set Joy Lovey into a fit of giggles. Try as she may, Jasmina had to join in.

“Jock says it’s probably like sleeping with a bottle of vinegar.” Joy Lovey continued. “She has totally upset daddy’s appetite. He won’t even touch one of my homemade pickles. He used to love pickles!”

Jasmina didn’t have the heart to tell her sister that it was because her attempt at pickles was like eating a cucumber dipped in turpentine.

 Steering the conversation away from Joy Lovey’s pickles, she preceded with her original train of thought.

“Seriously sis, what are we going to do to help Lucy Jay? We barely have enough room at our house now. Putt is thinking about adding an additional space, but not until next year. Do you have any room here?” Jasmina inquired as she stood to pour herself another cup of coffee. 

“I… I don’t think so…Jock would not like that. He’s so tired from working over at the store all day and he already fusses that our two make too much noise.” Joy Lovey had a hard time standing up to her slightly temperamental husband. It was that quirky Louisiana Cajun blood running through his veins. 

Jasmina sat back down and sighed. “I guess we can take turns letting her come over on weekends to get a break. The next step is talking to daddy.” Jasmina looked over at Joy Lovey and they both rolled their eyes. Melvin Eustace was not the easiest man to talk with.

Joy Lovey immediately piped up, “When will you talk to him?”

“Me? Oh, no! You are going to talk to him with me. There is power in numbers, you know. So do not even think about pawning this off on me alone.” Jasmina gave her most stern look and Joy Lovey immediately shrunk in her seat and nodded her head in agreement.

After one aborted attempt when Wedgie decided to appear almost by magic, an agreement was made, albeit noisily, on the second try. Lucy Jay would take turns bouncing between her sisters’ homes on the weekends. This meant she’d have to manage during the week, but at least she was in school during the day. She cried herself to sleep most nights and missed her mother terribly. Jasmina felt so sorry that her little sister had to deal with a crotchety old woman with not a single kind bone in her body. She frequently took her anger out on cleaning the bathroom. Putt knew if she was in the bathroom with a bucket of mop water to leave her alone.

As Lucy Jay entered her teenage years, she learned to stand up for herself more and more. She loved moving things around after Wedgie left her belongings on a table or chair. She took great pride in being able to switch things and never getting caught. She gained immense pleasure watching from the sidelines as Wedgie became more and more frantic thinking that she was going crazy. Melvin was either not home or too tired to notice so Lucy Jay plotted new ways to get back at her hateful stepmother. 

Melvin was working in the shipyards in New Orleans. His carpentry skills were in great demand and the job paid well but meant he had to be away from home during the week. A group of men from Colony who worked in New Orleans took turns riding together to save on gas. Most of the time, he was able to get home on Friday afternoons, but occasionally if a job ran over, it was later at night.

One such weekend, Lucy Jay was staying at Joy Lovey’s. It was a perfect scenario. Jock was spending the weekend in Louisiana fishing. He had taken both toddlers with him to spend time with their paternal grandparents. This meant the two sisters had the whole house to themselves. They had plans of eating spicy boiled peanuts, drinking cold bottled cokes, and watching TV all weekend on the big, new black and white television set Jock had bought. 

They had just settled down to sleep a little after midnight. Peanuts gave Joy Lovey gas much to Lucy Jay’s chagrin. She longed to sleep in the kids’ bed, but Joy Lovey was afraid to sleep alone when Jock was not home. Every time Lucy Jay was about to drift off, Joy Lovey gave a toot or two.

“Joy Lovey! Stop tootin’, I can’t get a wink of sleep with all that noise.” Lucy Jay admonished.

“I can’t help it, Lucy Jay! What am I supposed to do? Lie here and explode?”

At long last, everything was quiet, and they were both asleep. It only seemed a few minutes before Joy Lovey was shaking Lucy Jay awake.

“Lucy Jay, wake up! Someone is out there!” Joy Lovey grabbed hold of Lucy Jay as if her life depended on it.

“Huh? What?” Lucy Jay jolted awake. “What’s wrong? What’s happening?”

“Someone is out there! What are we going to do?” Joy Lovey was shaking all over, clutching the covers to her chest.

“Well, we’re going to see who it is! We can’t just lie here waiting for someone to bust in and kill us, can we?” Lucy Jay threw the covers back and started putting on her shoes next to the bed. Turning back to Joy Lovey, she said, “Come on, scaredy cat! Get up! Where’s that pistol Jock taught you how to shoot?”

Throwing back her covers, Joy Lovey slipped her house shoes on and opened the bedside table. She pulled out the pistol that Jock had given her for her last birthday. Shaking, she loaded every slot in the barrel and stuck the box of bullets in her housecoat as they eased out of the bedroom and headed toward the living room.

The front door had one small window near the top and Joy Lovey peeped out and saw a car in the driveway next to Jock’s store. She could see two people sitting in the car, not moving. 

“Look! I told you someone was out there. There’s two of them! Oh, Lord, have mercy on us!” Joy Lovey was getting frantic now that she had confirmed someone was in her driveway.

Lucy Jay took a peep. It took a minute, but something clicked in her head. She vaguely remembered Wedgie telling her before she left for the weekend that she and her best friend, Fleeta, would be picking up Melvin sometime after midnight. He frequently had his ride drop him at Joy Lovey’s which was on the highway instead of driving further into the country to his house. 

While she processed all of this, she realized that the angels had presented her with a perfect opportunity to have some fun at Wedgie’s expense. Instead of telling Joy Lovey that it was only Wedgie waiting on their daddy, she decided poked the bear instead.

“I think they may be plotting how to break in. Everyone knows when Jock goes out of town. Mainly because he brags to everyone that he is going away for a weekend of fishing and Lord knows what else. I think we should plan on shooting and asking questions later.

“Shooting? You do not expect me to shoot at them, do you? Joy Lovey started backing away. She had never been comfortable with the whole gun thing. Mainly because she was slightly cross-eyed and had trouble seeing the target.

“Well, are you going to let them shoot us first? We must protect ourselves. What if Chip and Betsy were here? Wouldn’t you do what it took to protect your sweet babies?” Lucy Jay put on her most horrid face.

Standing up taller and squaring her shoulders Joy Lovey replied, “You’re right! No one is going to come into my home and harm me or my babies. Move out of the way, Lucy Jay! I’ve got some reckoning to do!” Joy Lovey pushed Lucy Jay to the side and peered out the living room door window once again. Motioning to her sister she said, “Come on, I’ve got an idea!”

Joy Lovey headed to the kitchen and down the backdoor steps into the yard. Jock had fenced the yard so the children could play safely without leaving the yard. Joy Lovey glanced over her shoulder to make sure Lucy Jay was still behind her. 

The two eased up to the side gate and peered through the slates. From this angle, they could get a better look. There were definitely two people in the old car, and they seemed to be waving their hands around. 

“What do you reckon they are doing?” asked Joy Lovey. It took everything Lucy Jay could do to stop herself from bursting into laughter. She could tell that they were passing Fleeta’s flask of moonshine. 

She loved it when Fleeta, who everyone called Fleeter, came to visit. They had the best time when Fleeta was around. It had never been proven, but rumor was that Fleeta was a strumpet in addition to selling moonshine on the side. Lucy Jay had long figured out she always carried a suitcase full of moonshine to sell in the community while visiting her best friend. She wore bright red lipstick and colored her hair. A dead give-away that she had strumpet ways. Lucy Jay could care less because Wedgie was almost nice when Fleeta was around. Melvin thought it was because Wedgie missed living near her friend. Lucy Jay knew it was because she was high on hooch.

“Lucy Jay! Are you listening to me?” Joy Lovey snapped.

“Huh? Oh yeah, well I think you need to give them a warning shot. It’s only fair they have a chance to high tale it out of here before they end up meeting their maker, don’t you?” Lucy Jay covered her mouth to keep Joy Lovey from noticing she was smiling.

“Okay…I think you’re right. I’ll just fire once in the air and let them know they will not be taking advantage of two helpless women tonight. Joy Lovey turned back and peeped back through the slates of the fence. Pointing the pistol up she cocked the trigger and squeezed. She squealed the minute it went off.

BLAM!

She looked back at Lucy Jay with a surprised look on her face. The next thing Lucy Jay knew, Joy Lovey was firing shots left and right, one after the other.

Blam! Ping! Blam! Ding!

The individuals in the car started screaming and yelling! 

“Don’t shoot, Joy Lovey! Don’t shoot! It’s Wedgie and Fleeter! Please, in the sweet name of Jesus, don’t shoot!”

And just like that! Joy Lovey had found a new passion – firing a gun! She was busy reloading the chamber and did not notice Lucy Jay had propped herself against the side of the house, doubled over laughing.

This was priceless! Wedgie screaming for her life. This was better than anything she could have ever dreamed up on her own in a million years.

Joy Lovey had the gun fully loaded again and was about to commence one more round of shots when Lucy Jay’s conscience began to get the better of her.

“Wait, Joy Lovey! I think I heard your name. I think it’s Wedgie. Stay here and I’ll see!” Lucy Jay pushed her sister to the side and opened the gate. She ran over to the car. Wedgie was in tears and Fleeta was taking a long swig from her flask. She passed it over to Wedgie. She was so upset, she forgot that it was Lucy Jay at the window. Taking a very long swig, she started to hand it back to Fleeta. Lucy Jay reached in and snagged it away.

“Hey! What’s this?” Lucy Jay took a sniff. In mock shock she looked at Wedgie and said, “Why, you are drinking the devil’s poison! What will daddy say about this? You know he hates al-key-hall worse than a canker sore.” 

Wedgie looked immediately horrified. “Give that to me, right this minute!” Lucy Jay was faster with her responses and held it away.

“Not so fast! I think before I do, you need to figure out a way to repay me for not telling daddy you hit the hooch when he’s not around. I mean, surely me saving you from death AND keeping your little secret is worth something, don’t you?” Lucy Jay smiled sweetly. Even in the dim light of the store’s outside light Wedgie could see Lucy Jay’s teeth as she grinned.

“Why you little minx…” Wedgie started. About this time, the truck carrying Melvin and the other men pulled into the driveway. Panic crossed Wedgie’s face. “Okay, okay, what do you want?” Wedgie asked hurriedly.

Lucy Jay held the flask close to her chest while she pretended to be in deep thought. This was so much fun! Way better than boiled peanuts and cold sodas.

“Hurry up, Melvin’s almost got his things off the truck!” Wedgie snapped.

“How about you cook and take care of the house by yourself. I mean, I’m only there five days a week and then just at night. I think that is worth my silence, don’t you?” Lucy Jay smiled again and dangled the flask out in front of her.

Melvin had seen Joy Lovey hovering near the gate and yelled out at her. While he was distracted, Wedgie said, “Okay, you little minx. You win this one, give me that flask!” Just as she said it, Lucy Jay let go of the flask. Wedgie socked Fleeta on the side of the head. 

“Ouch, Wedgie! Dang it, give me my flask! I’m going home in the morning. This is way too much drama for me!” She drained the last of the moonshine from the flask as she spoke.

Melvin finally approached the car. He spoke to everyone and threw his case in the back seat. “Lucy Jay, your sister told me that she almost blew holes in Wedgie and Fleeta but thanks to your quick thinking, you saved the day.

Lucy Jay threw her arms around Melvin’s neck. “Oh daddy, it was horrible. I could not bear the thought of losing another sweet mother. I had to do something.” Lucy Jay shivered for the extra effect.

“Why you poor child; Wedgie, this baby is shaking. It does my old, tired heart good to see you two finally bonding. It’s an answer to my prayers! Thank you, Jesus!”  

Lucy Jay, still holding on to her daddy, turned and looked back at Wedgie and winked. The look on Wedgie’s face was true to herself – sour.

Lucy Jay and Wedgie never liked one another, but Wedgie’s secret was safe as long as Lucy Jay lived at home. Anytime she wanted to exert her authority, Lucy Jay mimicked drinking from a flask. Melvin never totally understood what happened to change things, but he was grateful for the peace.

Lucy Jay was forever grateful the night Joy Lovey got loaded!