Metal artwork by artist, Wanda Shand
"A sister is a friend, a closest enemy, and an angel at the time of need." ~ D. Mridha
Sisters. Do you have any? If not, have you longed for one? Is your relationship a good one? Challenging? Do you talk every day or just once in a blue moon, or not at all?
I was blessed to have two older sisters. I came along when they were fourteen and ten years old. In many ways they have both been sister and mother depending on the situation.
We said goodbye to our oldest sister in August of 2020. It is still hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that I cannot pick up the phone and talk to her or my mother.
My middle sister has been working and living in Sacramento for the past five years. Recent months have been full of plans to retire in October. After arriving home last week to work on her new home, she knew within 24 hours of arriving something was amiss.
She has been in the hospital since, having undergone one surgery with another scheduled for later today. That is a lot for a body to go through.
During times of illness, your brain kicks into overdrive; question after question floats through your mind. Will she be okay? What if? How will this look? How can I help? Why is this happening now?
Sadly, my sisters and I have lived through a fair amount of trauma. We lost our only brother to cancer in the late 60s and our dad in the late 70s. We have been through personal crises. Buried our mother almost five years ago who we all adored.
I would like to say that our sisterly relationships have been rock solid and close. Define close. Do we hang out as friends? Distance has had a hand in that, but no. Do we agree on everything. NO. What we do have is a bond that joins us for all time. We have experienced the same losses and milestones together. Granted, we process those experiences very differently, but our stories evolve out of the same shared pages.
Obviously, her safety and care are paramount to my own well-being at the moment. Everything else moves into the background. She has wonderful doctors and is surrounded by family and friends that love her. As I quell my internal angst, I repeat to myself – It will all be okay. It will.
I want her to know that I am sorry that our life experiences hindered our relationships. I am sorry that we have grieved the loss of so many and so much in such a short lifespan. I am sorry that we did not know earlier how to process our grief in a healthy way. I am sorry that we did not understand one another better.
The ancient text states that God’s power is made perfect through our weaknesses. Perhaps that is what will unfold through this current crisis. Another chance to do things differently. Grace covers everything. Thank God.
Love you!
So sorry to hear that your sister, Jill, is having these health issues. Praying for her and you as well. I miss my only sister so very much !! She passed when she was only 63 and a little less then a month after she found out she had cancer. Am so thankful that I had/have such wonderful sister-in-laws that always treated me as if I was their biological sister. Love you !!
As an adult, not having a sister made me twonder if that retarded my capacity to have a Bestie. Then, I wondered if pride & intovertedness was the reason. Then, I wondered if X, Y & Z. Eventually with anectodal life wisdom I embraced the Doris Day song , “what will be, will be…”.
I am pretty sure it was Jung, (I am not googling to be sure) that told us that most people are doing the best they can with what they have at the moment. So, let us sweep away all the social contructs, eliminate the disease of perfection and judgment and let love be the bond of us all.
As alway, thanks for your thought provoking blog. ✌
I have 2 sisters too and I find that no one and I mean NO ONE knows you like a sister! Born a year apart, I have 2 sisters ; one older and one younger. Three distinct personalities (thankfully, because we never liked the same boy!) and different looks. Different hobbies, different likes and dislikes, They were graceful, I was not. Despite all of our differences, there is a still a binding and historical love. I will pray for your sister and throw in extra prayers for mine!
Carol, I sure will! My sister is doing so much better, thankfully! Sisters can love you the most and then turn around and hurt you the most. It is a big ole messy and glorious bag of a relationship to have in this life!