Life is Like a Fitted Sheet

Life is like a fitted sheet.

This idea popped into my head as I changed (wrestled) the linens on our bed the other day. I like to change them at least weekly. There is something wonderful about slipping into a freshly made bed, yes?

I can hear my sweet mother asking, “Tracey, where in the world do you come up with these ideas?” I’ll give you the same response as I always gave her – I have no clue, they randomly pop into my head. Usually around 3 a.m. when I’m trying to sleep.

So, let’s consider a set of sheets. The fitted sheet is the one piece that makes all the others work. It’s also the one that is most complicated. Think about it.

Pillowcases. They feel so nice against your cheek at night and come in all sizes to fit a plethora of pillow shapes. Slips right on. No fussing, no tussling.

Flat sheet.  Fan it out, lands square on the bed, tuck in the bottom and you are good to go. BUT what use is the flat sheet without the fitted sheet? It’s like icing without a cake. You could try to use the flat as you would fitted, but that doesn’t work. (I know because I’ve tried before.) Inevitably, it will come untucked five minutes after you get in bed. I HATE an untucked sheet!

We now arrive at said fitted sheet. A fitted sheet is gathered in all four corners with elastic. Honey, this is only the beginning. Let me break it down for you:

* Types of fabric to consider. 

Cotton

Polyester

Bamboo

Linen

Silk

Microfiber

Satin

THEN, there are types within those choices. How many cotton blends have you heard of? Need I say more?

* Weave – determines how sturdy, soft, or thick the material is. Again, several weaves to choose from. I want both sturdy and soft. What about you?

* Thread count – number of threads in one square inch of material. The higher the number, the more durable and softer the material. My mother would not even touch a set of sheets if there weren’t at least 300-thread count. And this was only if that was ALL you could manage. Her preference was at least 600-count. If you’ve never slept on a 600-count set of sheets before – bless your little heart!

* Ply – the number of fibers used to create one thread. Apparently, one-ply sheets are the bomb, while two and three-ply sheets are cheaper and do not last as long. 

See? Complicated. Yet, there’s more.

Once you have spent a ridiculous amount of time and energy in choosing the perfect fitting sheet, the real test begins!

The first corner is fairly easy because there is no pull from another side, yet. You move over to the next corner and pull it into place and secure it. So far, so good. Next, you move up to the third corner (usually at the top – never start at the top, trust me.) You tug a bit but manage to get it into place. Maybe this isn’t as hard as I thought.

Nope, here’s that last upper corner. You pull, you tug, pull a little more, stop to wipe the sweat not just from your brow, but your whole face. Tug a little more. Wait! It’s puckered in the corner, but it’s not fitted all the way down. Dadgumit!

You must release it from its hold and tug even MORE so it will fit perfectly all the way down. After more sweating, a broken nail or two, and a few bad words thrown in, success! The damn sheet is on the bed. So what if you now need to lie down, it’s on!

If I do nothing else all day, I mastered the fitted sheet. Score!

You may ask, “Why don’t you just ask Cas to help you? 

What woman reading this blog has ever had a hand from their spouse in putting the fitted sheet on the bed? I rest my case. Besides, by the time I’d get his attention, I could already have the dang bed made. 

I have not forgotten you single ladies.  Hats off to you one hundred times one hundred. You do so many other harder things than fighting with the fitted sheet. You take the garbage to the street!

I digress. NO, I am not done yet. 

Raise your hand if you have mastered the “correct” way to fold the blessed thing. Rolling it into a ball and stuffing it in the linen closet does not count as folding. Yes, I know there are hundreds of You-Tube videos available showing how to fold it into a neat square. We all know those are AI robots, right? NO human can figure it out, c’mon!

See? The fitted sheet by design is a challenge. The sad fact is that there is no avoiding the fitted sheet. I mean, you could live like a frat boy and sleep on a mattress with no sheets, but eeewww. NO, you need that dang fitted sheet. It is the foundation that makes for good sleep. End of discussion.

Which brings me back to my initial statement – Life is like a fitted sheet. It’s the foundation of our own existence. Our souls are born into a physical body to carry our spiritual, emotional, and mental bodies.  

Our soul arrives as a shiny new set, all ready to face life. The grand design incorporated plenty of give to fit all the curves. The added elastic was for strength needed when stretched. And oh boy, we are going to be stretched!

Doesn’t that sound like our life at times? Some days we are stretched and pulled into a thousand directions. If we are lucky, everything slips into place and fits snuggly. Other times, we snap back again and again, and it feels hopeless.

For the days we manage to lay taunt, we look down to see pesky wrinkles creeping up around us. There is no energy to smooth anything else out, so we just deal with the wrinkles. At least we have those soft pillowcases against our faces.

Some of us have pillowcases and flat sheets on our beds, but our fitted sheet needs some work. Maybe our fitted sheet has been stretched so much, the elastic needs replacing. Maybe we are just afraid to trade it in for another fitted sheet. Maybe there are holes that need to be patched and healed; stains that need removing. 

The only way to achieve the perfect fitted sheet is to choose the best material, weave, count, and ply possible and then keep tugging and stretching until it is on the bed. 

The only way to inner peace and happiness is to learn from our mistakes and continue to stretch and grow into the person we can become. It’s never too late but stop looking for someone else to do the work for you. It’s all up to you and me!

Life is like a fitted sheet, but wow! What an ingenious design.

Now, if you will excuse me, I need a nap. I have a nicely made bed waiting.