Are you a control freak?
This week I asked myself this question. It was prompted after hearing that one of my friend’s had lost her sister. Turns out this sister was a hoarder. They had been estranged for a bit, and while family knew this sister had mental health issues, no one really knew the extent until she passed. While I am familiar with what hoarding is, I am no expert from a mental health standpoint, but I do know that it comes from the need to be in control.
Are we a nation of control freaks? I think yes. People trying to control aging, their weight, their finances and lifestyles, their relationships, on and on. The bottom line is that we are only in control of how we deal with what life throws at us. Many times what gets thrown is hard, and you feel like giving up. I know I do.
I am saddened for this dear woman who died in such a state of unhappiness. I feel sad that she was not able to seek professional help to deal with her emotional issues.
I ask this question from a place of love, but why are people so afraid of seeking mental health resources? I am one of these odd few that remembers telling my mom when I was about ten years old that I thought I needed therapy. She laughed at me, but I was dead serious. I entered therapy around the age of 25 and have continued to seek out help as I have needed it over the years. If I could afford to go once a week, I would. Life is too short and unpredictable to sit around and be unhappy. I want to figure out my struggles. I realize for the most part that I am in a minority. If I could impart the things I have learned about myself and the tools to better my relationships with others, I’d pour it all on you.
My latest short, Secret Sins is a bit of a turn from my previous stories. It’s darker and deals more with real life issues than anything I’ve previously shared. I love a story with a happy ending, but life isn’t always like that. Already you can see that Sandy’s mom, Lucinda lived her life trying to control the narrative of how the people of Mason viewed her and her family; even if that became a detriment to all involved. The need for perfection, or at least to be seen as perfect, is a cancer that spreads and erodes many families.
The cure? LOVE. Love is the cure for all that is wrong. Love brings hope, peace, healing, joy. If you are struggling with mental health issues, please seek help. SAMHSA’s (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
If you are reluctant to speak with a stranger, seek out a trusted friend or family member, or your pastor. Contact me! There are lots of resources available.
I send you love.
Well written, well said Sista!
How delightful that your Wellness allows you to be honest and open. … Peoples relunctance towards addressing mental health issues is complex and multidemensional. The power of Ego and super-ego on a person, directs one’s perception of a situation; coupled with (1)econmomics (both money and time for processing), (2)trust and (3)locating an authentically skilled counselor* that is a match for your personality. Any who that is CP’s perspective.
*In my world there is a distinct difference between a counselor and therapist. A counselor is a wisdom person with whom we are able to process life and develop healthy perspective(s) for living life-on-life terms. Therefore it does not have to be a licensed person. A therapist is trained in skills that assist a person in identify that which is to be changed and then utilize skills to enhance the odds of accomplishment.